is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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