Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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