I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
so much tequila, so little girl.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
