Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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