That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I have post one night stand depression
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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