I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
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Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
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It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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