yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
