Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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