I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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