It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
