Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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