Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
