a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
