we have officially lost it.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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