just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
