A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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