Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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