addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
