hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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