i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
