The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
