woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
