Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
