dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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