oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Randomize
