I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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