she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
