I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
