Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
