Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
