we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
