I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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