I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
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A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
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No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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