"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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