shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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