VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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