I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize