Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
