I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
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His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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