let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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