I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
