She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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