Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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