i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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