you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
