i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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