So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
apparently the secret to your success is patron
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
