so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
