I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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