you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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