you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
