i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
How does one acquire holy water?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
