I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
