I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
