Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
