is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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