I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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