hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
