jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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