it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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