hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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