Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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