there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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