No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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