God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
