do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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