think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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